The Public Citizen

Over eight million tons of trees are consumed each year in the production of paper catalogs!!!!!

As many of you know, nothing stirs my ire more then the enormous amount of junk mail I magnetically attract wherever I go. Not spam, physical junk mail. I have multiple tools to combat this problem. I
a) Rip off the back covers and call the magazines with my customer id demanding to be taken off. Date the call on the cover, xerox all the covers on one or two pieces of papers for record.
b) Put the offensive, tree killing material in the return to sender envelop and scrawl stop mailing me across the offending material
c) List myself on the "do not mail" register of the Direct Mail Association
https://www.directmail.com/directory/mail_preference/
d) List myself on the catalog choice website- newest and greatest weapon against junk mail as it is sponsored by the NRDC , National Wildlife Federation and Ecology Center
http://www.catalogchoice.org/
e) Call/email the political campaigns that mail me everyday and ask them how environmentally concerned they are (Note: this does not work as well, but gives me comfort).

Ok- so what's my point? Here it is. Today, I sat down for my usual combat. I was armed with the numbers of the offenders- this time it was mainly political organizations: The Hillary Clinton campaign (one of the absolute worst offenders, btw), the DNCC, the food bank, NRDC (Natural Resources Defense Council, NARAL, NCTE, America Votes. I also called a few catalogs, Victoria's Secret, Garnett Hill, even the owner of my website, Domain Registry of America just for balance. No problem, they all said. We'd be happy to take you off our mailing list. All except Public Citizen. I mention this because I find it extremely paradoxical that Victoria's Secret can take me off its list, but the one organization that defines itself as the "public interest organization" that explicity states on its website that it "fight[s] for openness and democratic accountability in government... [and] for strong health, safety and environmental protections" (http://www.citizen.org/about/) flatly ans absolutely REFUSED to take me off their mailing list. This has never happened before. Never,ever, in my two years of calling business, non profits and lobbies has an organization flatly refused to take me off their mailing list. But there is was the Public Citizen refused to take me off their mailing list. Wow.

The Rain

Story starts with long standing plans to go gallery hopping with a friend, thwarted by rain the second we headed out. Quell suprise. Why stop for rain? Oh, your obviously not from New York, if you were asking that. In NY, you see where going out in the rain is an acrobatic feat necessitating arm strength (for holding the umbrella perpendicularly for extending periods of time, raising and lowering as people bump past you, and competing with the wind), stamina, and sheer athleticism (for jumping over lakes mislabeled puddles and jocking for position in the few shallow spots). So, forgoing the wet crowded outdoor gymnasium, we opted to have coffee and lunch in Brooklyn, where the greatest hazard was huge upsplahes from the passing cars (totally foreseable, and therefore manageable).
We ended up dining at the fantastic French restaurant, where the proprietor came up to us and asked if we had heard the story of the women and the python. Of course, we affirmed. "It vas me!' She exclaimed and proceeded to tell us how every city agency thought she was crazy and refused to help. Finally her ex-husband posted the event on Bong, the media got hold of the story and showed up in time to see her, her current husband and plumber sawing apart the toilet and extracting the seven foot python. What an unexpected lunch story....

So much material so little time

So, I finally, after five years met up with my friend Charlotte. And, despite loosing one earing of every pair I've every loved, I've somehow maintained to keep her feather earing in tact and in sight throughout. So, as I bestowed upon her the one piece of jewelery I have kept track of, I thought that Brooklyn is in deed the greatest borough (that that comment is a nonp0sequitor I am fully aware)... After the dear exchange, Charlotte and I went off to enjoy the fruits of global warming, namely, 72 degree weather in late October. Off we went to the Gowanus Yacht Company, where we drank beer and engaged in a lively debate about vocational schools and the general state of education. All of the sudden, two beers appear from the bar tender.
"they're from those guys over there"
Shocked, we tried to figure out who sent us beers. After searching unsuccessfully for the culprits who would nod in acknowledgment, or who we could acknowledge, we resumed our animated discussion. A few minutes later, a Guatemalan man showed up and said: "That is from Frankie, enjoy". We were immensly thankful but puzzled- why would this man with limited English waste his money on us? Baffled, we of course, resorted to drinking to find an answer. Upon near completion of the second round, and no where closer to a conclusion, we were delivered a second round of drinks from our Guatemalan friend Frankie. Inebriated and horse, we as the bartender for advice on beer receiving etiquette. What do we do? Should we go over? We fell uncomfortable, send ti back. But our protests would not be heard. The bartender simply said, "he's Frankie, that is what he does. He sends drinks. He's like the beer Santa." But what should we do we demanded? Drink up! He said, as if we were absolute morons. So drink we did and ended up engaging Frankie and

Characteristics of Kinkos.

Have you every realized that all persons at Kinko's talks to themselves? No, seriously. I think its an unstated law: thou must go to Kinkos, break a machine or two, demand immediately attention and talk to yourself. A big contributer to this situation is that everyone at Kinkos has a problem. Again, I am being serious. Because if you didn't have a problem- like unemployment, an out of ink printer, or broken copier you wouldn't be at Kinko's. You'd be in your office, or home printing, copying and talking to coworkers. But your not because you have a problem, so your at Kinkos. Most people at Kinkos, like myself suffer from the first ailment- unemployment. Or, as many prefer to call it "starting a business". (FYI- if you have not business plan and are at Kinkos copying frayed newspaper articles, you are unemployed, not "starting a business). On that note, I was privileged to hear an actual conversation between two people at Kinkos the other day (this being as opposed to the more popular alternative of the one sided conversation). The incident went something like this:

Disorganized, disheveled man busts in to Kinko's heads for the first copier and turns to a the women next to him. "I know you don't work here, but do you know how to work this thing?"
Woman: "Yes, what are you trying to do?"
Man: "I have to copy this for my business" ("this" of course being a frayed newspaper article).
Woman instructs him, and three copies are made.
Man: "Now, how do I laminate this?"
Woman: "Why do you need to laminate it?"
Man: "To look professional. You see, I have a business and I need to look professional"
Woman: "What kind of business do you run?"
Man: "A cell phone business. You see all these companies, they be ripping people off. I have a business where I tell people use verizon, t moble and figure it out for them"
(Me- is this a traveling cell phone store?)
Woman: "So why do you need to laminate the article for the business?"
Man: "See, this article is about the cell companies be ripping people off"
Woman: "Well, if you show that article you should have the date and name of the paper"
Man, concurring, "good point"
The exchange continues, with her explaining that she too has a business, a marketing one and would love to help him. Can she make an appointment to call him?
"Leave a message at my day job. Right now, I don't have a cell phone".